Saturday, April 18, 2009

ok so its been almost 2 weeks since i last updated... but hey, if i updated everyday you'd be bored wouldnt you?

i finished my finals 3 days ago and i'm not sure if i wanna see my results.. i did study real hard for my Com Science exam and thought i did ok but not great.. but what the heck, its my semester break now.. =)

Dennis came back from SP and we played squash yesterday morning... i had coaching later in the afternoon.. went to Queens for dinner at Sushi King and dessert and Haagen Dazs...

the past week in squash was again heart breaking and disappointing.. SAP Challenge 3rd Leg was on throughout the week and after a long absence from the top half, i managed to break into the top 8 once more but beating Alamin.. it wasnt easy.. as i was a slow starter, i went down 0-2 and put all the pressure on myself.. i managed to keep calm and took the next 3 sets fairly easily..

the next day i faced Max Ong, a good friend of mine (although his "Dont Try To Be Funny" kinda pisses you off sometimes).. ;) i lost 0-3 but the games were close.. played against Mukhzani the next day and i lost 1-3.. being the slow starter again, i failed to close down the 1st set and let him come back to claim the set.. i'd blame my severe stomach ache for my 4th set loss but then again some people would just say its excuses.. Vanessa the day after but she injured her ankle therefore giving me a walkover..

did i mention i have a dog? LOL.. i know i might not look like a pet person but yea we adopted a puppy from my aunt.. we finally agreed on naming him Potter after like a week since we had him.. and yes Potter as in HARRY Potter...
i've been sleeping for most of the day today and it annoyed the hell outta my family.. cause when they called me all i did was nod and go back to sleep on whatever surface i was on..

now to something i know my readers are getting used to but oh well.. i've been feeling alien alot this month.. i feel like i drifted away from my friends in college and sometimes cant figure out what i want.. i feel bad for all the times i snap back at my friends.. i'm sorry... i just feel alone at times eventhough i have friends around... i was also feeling alot of pressure from my parents because my finals were close by..

i have also texted Allan to announce my retirement from junior squash.. effective after Penang Junior Open.. i might enter the minor tournaments in Penang but i wont push for it.. i have also finally decided to quit the academy after serving for 8 years.. this decision came after i was ONCE AGAIN excluded from the SportExcel squad.. the 3rd leg was supposed to be an open leg but i was again left out.. i was really hurt that i got left behind again eventhough this is my last year and that i clearly pushed hard.. i was also the less prefered compared to the Tin Club players.. so whatever.. i'm considering entering myself into Milo All Stars as i was never selected for it.. and i figured, this being my last year, that i'd have a crack at it..

i could also pull myself out from the SAP team for the Penang league.. i made it clear that i was interested in playing for SAP and although i didnt ask for it, i heard Allan mention me being capatain.. the captain part didnt mean much to me.. but the fact that i was left out completely eventhough i played for SAP last year pissed me off... Allan had nothing to do with this.. he had to find ways to get my into the team.. i got in eventually.. makes me wonder what i ever did wrong to deserve this constant side-lining.. have i not proven my loyalty? have i not show that i have the commitment? yes i might not be the best player around and yes i might not be the most gifted.. but i love the game and play it with enough spirit.. if that's not enough then i guess its too bad..

it has been a usual scenario when a younger player who for a short period trained with me and still lose to me get promoted ahead of me.. i've been denied promotion twice.. those two times were identical.. but enough about this... its all fucked up anyway.. i guess someone just really doesnt like me..

i'll just stop now.. not really in a mood for anything... then again, i've not been in a mood for a long time.. fuck it..

out..

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