well i have started college and i have to say its going pretty well for now.... i'm enjoying my time after SPM but one thing always bothers me....

i dont know why it always comes back to haunt me but every time it returns, its never pleasant... i'm not proud of this condition and it does ruin things for me sometimes..... every time i thought i put it behind, it catches up with me and bites back....

now, more than ever..... and i cant stand it... fighting it has never helped... however, embrassing it isnt much joy either.... i just wish sometimes i can explain why these happen...

what i learned from life so far is that you cant always have what you want.... sometimes, you just have to take what you can get... it might not be what your heart really wants but it gets you going... dwelling in the past is just too painful....

i dont know if anyone knows where this is going... honestly i dont give a damn..... it has always bothered me why i cant put certain thing behind and let it remain a memory... it pains me to see my desiresa being achieved by others while i remain as i am not knowing what the outcome would be....

things were never clear.... i just wish it could be.... there were times i wish i could just go back and take it all away... but i know that would be nothing but a futile attempt... i cant change what has been done and i never regretted it..... my only regret is that it was never complete.....

some of you might not know what i was talking about.... was it nothing but pure nonsense? or was it something important.... some of you might know.... i dont really bother.... i just needed to let it out....

signing off.....