sticks and stones may break my bones...
but dives and a losing streak broke my spirit....
day 3 of the SAP Challenge and another disappointing result... after losing to the junior darkness in straight sets, i had to get a good result against Jee Nee... but i didnt..
i threw away the game against the darkness because i heard some bad news and was pissed and didnt feel like playing anymore... after losing the game i realised i made a mistake...
Jee Nee proved to be a tough opponent to face.. i took the first set easily 11-3... she up-ed her game and took the next 2 sets... i struggled but managed to claim the 4th and take the match to a deciding set.... both Jee Nee and i went all out in the 5th...
there were many dives and one in particular towards the end of the match will be remembered for a long long time... Jee Nee played a boast and i was very far away from the ball.... i decided to dive, nothing unusual.... but this time the ball was so far and i dived in with so much forced that i ended up sliding all the way.... i didnt get the ball.... =.=
my ribs were hurting after that and breathing was a little hard... the match went into a deuce and we exchanged match points untill one point where i told myself its either take it now or forget it.... i tried a drop shot when Jee Nee had match point... it hit the tin and that was it... any hope of playing in the 1st leg of SportExcel in KL vanished as the ball hit the tin with a loud thud..
it was a good match and the only other time i played such a long match was against Dennis Boon in Ipoh... i was disapponted that i did not win but content with my performance... i'm surprised i even lasted till the end... credits to Jee Nee for pushing to the limits... honestly, there's no one i rather lose that match to than her... it was a great match...
as i sat down trying to catch my breath, i thought about my options and my future with this sport... i was planning to play for the Northeastern Huskies in Boston... but with this performance, will i even get in? drowning myself with hot water in the shower, i actually considered hanging up my racket after this tournament is over... not much spirit is left in me... the final push was never there when i needed it... and regardless of my efforts to move up in the game, things that are out of my control will always come around and be a bitch...
no matter how much passion one has and no matter how hard that person is willing to push, it all comes down to if you are meant to be screwed over...
my failure to get into the squad to KL is making me think about how much i really want to continue my futile quest in being a better player.... maybe i should stick to just one game.... football maybe? maybe i didnt keep on pushing because i love the game... maybe it was other factors that motivated me to pursue a better level? everything is a blur now...
i guess i'll end it here... getting very sleepy... as i go to sleep tonight, my future in the sport hangs in the balance... could i ever live up to the level i set for myself? or was i meant to play other sports? one thing is for sure.... it'd be upsetting to leave the sport after nearly 8 years being in it... i practically grew up with the whole lot... perhaps its time to change...
signing out...
but dives and a losing streak broke my spirit....
day 3 of the SAP Challenge and another disappointing result... after losing to the junior darkness in straight sets, i had to get a good result against Jee Nee... but i didnt..
i threw away the game against the darkness because i heard some bad news and was pissed and didnt feel like playing anymore... after losing the game i realised i made a mistake...
Jee Nee proved to be a tough opponent to face.. i took the first set easily 11-3... she up-ed her game and took the next 2 sets... i struggled but managed to claim the 4th and take the match to a deciding set.... both Jee Nee and i went all out in the 5th...
there were many dives and one in particular towards the end of the match will be remembered for a long long time... Jee Nee played a boast and i was very far away from the ball.... i decided to dive, nothing unusual.... but this time the ball was so far and i dived in with so much forced that i ended up sliding all the way.... i didnt get the ball.... =.=
my ribs were hurting after that and breathing was a little hard... the match went into a deuce and we exchanged match points untill one point where i told myself its either take it now or forget it.... i tried a drop shot when Jee Nee had match point... it hit the tin and that was it... any hope of playing in the 1st leg of SportExcel in KL vanished as the ball hit the tin with a loud thud..
it was a good match and the only other time i played such a long match was against Dennis Boon in Ipoh... i was disapponted that i did not win but content with my performance... i'm surprised i even lasted till the end... credits to Jee Nee for pushing to the limits... honestly, there's no one i rather lose that match to than her... it was a great match...
as i sat down trying to catch my breath, i thought about my options and my future with this sport... i was planning to play for the Northeastern Huskies in Boston... but with this performance, will i even get in? drowning myself with hot water in the shower, i actually considered hanging up my racket after this tournament is over... not much spirit is left in me... the final push was never there when i needed it... and regardless of my efforts to move up in the game, things that are out of my control will always come around and be a bitch...
no matter how much passion one has and no matter how hard that person is willing to push, it all comes down to if you are meant to be screwed over...
my failure to get into the squad to KL is making me think about how much i really want to continue my futile quest in being a better player.... maybe i should stick to just one game.... football maybe? maybe i didnt keep on pushing because i love the game... maybe it was other factors that motivated me to pursue a better level? everything is a blur now...
i guess i'll end it here... getting very sleepy... as i go to sleep tonight, my future in the sport hangs in the balance... could i ever live up to the level i set for myself? or was i meant to play other sports? one thing is for sure.... it'd be upsetting to leave the sport after nearly 8 years being in it... i practically grew up with the whole lot... perhaps its time to change...
signing out...
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